how to ask

For two months I stayed in a very warm and relaxed family, and I tried to understand what made them like that.
I realized that in this life is very important to know how to ask for things. As we all know after living with a person for several years we take things for granted... when they aren't. It's nice to see that after a long period of time she knows to say please and he knows to say "do you need help?" or "It's ok. I'll go take kids from school" or "It's ok .I'll do the laundry" after he comes home tired from work.
They never argue on topics like who worked more, or what have you done for me. They romp each other like teenagers, and time, stress, worries seem to vanish right away. When they argue, they reconcile in 15 minutes and they seem much stronger together then they were before.
What made them like this?
Tudor was right.. one big event. Only big events change you. Althogh they didn't change to much. They have a daughter that got very sick at 8 years old. She has Lupus an autoimune disease that damages all the organs. Back then they decided to have a peacefull life and not worry about anything. Now the kid is better and she's brigjht and a very good actress. She's 14.
Why do people change only when they are really hurt, when they see that death is quite near. Only then we understand to respect each other, to respect ourselves.